Hey everyone!

How are you today? Did you see that the girl everyone hates (but she doesnt seem to realise it) Jordan is back on our TV again…Why doesnt she get it, we are sick of the sight of her! Go away, and dont come back in a hurry.

I have decided to show you how to look like Jordan, or Katie Price, whatever you want to call her.

Ok step 1 is obviously the chicken fillets. These are to make your breasts look as big and more importantly as fake as possible. Looking fake is the big key here.

The next thing is the hair. It would be just wrong of you to only go out in your own hair. Go and buy some more.

Aaah the makeup. Now the trick here is to apply as much as possible. Remember MORE IS BETTER! We are talking the full works here, eyeliner, massive amounts of eye shadow, foundation, Boots and Superdrug should have their shelves cleared. When using the Lipstick dont be shy, you need a good few layers on. Lastly, dont forget those fake eyelashes. When they arent in use, you can always put them on your daughter

This is your tool for applying the makeup. It should do the job fine

This part is crucial to the look, fake tan. You MUST apply enough to make yourself at least orange, possibly darker. You should be glowing like you are radioactive. It must never look natural.